How often do you find yourself in the situation where you're asking yourself:
* Why am I doing this?
* Why did I agree to this?
* I'm not getting paid for this, so why should I bother going whole hog? I'll just do enough to get by - or
* Forget it; I cant get it all done - I'll just forget about it!

Even more importantly (and more stressful), how many times have you had to pick up the slack for someone else who has apparently made the decision NOT to do something they promised to do, but hasnt informed others of that decision? Whether were sitting on a Board, serving on a committee, or simply doing a favor, someone is counting on us to do what we promise. If we dont, we cause added stress for everyone else involved.

Ive noticed that I am obligated to pick up the slack for more and more people recently in my own experience - and I wonder why this trend is occurring...

Ive heard a lot of excuses, including:
* The hurricanes in our area (Florida) (while this was valid for months after they hit; they are not still valid an entire year later)
* Ive gotten very busy at work
* I cant get reliable transportation

The same holds true for other areas in our lives. Many of us join networking and leads groups to further our careers and make our presence known in our markets.
* Do we make it a habit to arrive on time? To arrive at all? To fulfill our role, if any, that day?
* Do we leave early?
* If we do have to miss a meeting, do we let someone know - or just no show?
* Do we take phone calls throughout the meeting? (whether or not we leave the room to take the call)

What inadvertent messages do we send by these actions?
* Our time is more precious/important than that of other group members
* The group is not as important as callers trying to reach us
* This meeting is not important enough to attend every week/month/etc.
* They dont deserve the courtesy of a call if were not going to show up

While there are exceptions to every rule, extending as much courtesy as possible in every situation goes a long way toward establishing our reputation within our community. And while we all have occasional problems meeting commitments, there are ways to appropriately handle these situations, such as:

* Telling people ASAP if you will be out of commission for a while (even if you dont explain why, giving notice helps them plan)
* Helping them find replacements to take over your duties while youre away
* Not saying yes in the first place if you know you just cant do it - or do it well. Many times Ive had no one to blame but myself because I couldnt say no! (Ive now started saying no more often, when necessary)

All of the above are acceptable ways of doing the right thing, even when you cant fulfill a role the group asks you to fill. After all, its unreasonable for any group to expect that we can ALWAYS do what they want. We need to be able to say yes or no, at the right times, and have everyone be OK with that. What is not acceptable is SAYING yes, then DOING no.

Think about this: If you dont do the right thing when it comes to volunteer and/or networking groups, and I only see you there (when it doesnt matter), how do I know you will - or even CAN - do the right thing when it does matter?

What messages do we want to send? If were not sending the right ones, wed better take a look at the inadvertent bad marketing were creating in these situations... Start sending the right messages. People will notice and work with those who always (or at least usually) manage to do the right thing...